Sunday, July 4, 2010

July 4th 2010

There has been a tremendous amount of peace and serenity recently in my life. It may be partly due to the increase in my medications, but I would like to think it is also because of changes made in my thinking and my beliefs. My fear is that my life will end before all is accomplished in it. There is nothing I can do to prevent the inevitable end, all I can do is live the moment. It is hard to believe so many years have flashed by me.
I want to keep this peace in my soul. So I will fight no more. The angry, bitter, sarcastic side of me will eventually lose strength and be too weak to rear its ugly head again. The burning tears will dry up, the heartbreak will heal and I will finally be able to rest. I will no longer put everyone else first, I will no longer defend those who don't want defense, I will no longer invest in relationships that are fractured and broken. My ego needs to be reduced and my pride needs to be put in check. I will no longer care for things that are none of my business. The world got along fine without me before I was born, it will get along fine without me when my life ends. My blessings are my friends that I call family, for my own family disregards me. So many years were wasted on foolish, frivolous ventures that came to nothing. Now there is no more time for waste.
And I am at peace with that.
Godspeed to you, keep the lighthouse in sight.